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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27552859">Loud Silence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KtheG/pseuds/KtheG'>KtheG</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Warrior Nun (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Hurt/Comfort, hubert the cat, soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:22:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27552859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KtheG/pseuds/KtheG</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just some soft fluffy lilbea feat. Hubert the cat</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sister Beatrice/Sister Lilith (Warrior Nun)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Loud Silence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Beatrice knows all the signs of bad days, of days that start waking from horrible nightmares of a time long passed, days where all Lilith can manage is going through the motions, days where Lilith is more quiet than usual. These days hurt the most, because the two of them had made so much progress after their mission was completed. It wasn't easy, and in the beginning, there were more bad days than good, but now? Beatrice thought they were rounding the corner into better.</p>
<p>So she knows the signs, should've realized that it wasn't going to be a good day like the four previous. Instead, she had ignored her internal warning signs, accepting Lilith's brush off of concern at breakfast. Admittedly, Beatrice herself wasn't having the best day, and that's probably what made it easier to not worry about Lilith. But when she got home that evening after stopping at the grocery store on her way home from work and she noticed that Lilith's backpack and keys hadn't moved, she realized she had brushed aside all of the warning signs.</p>
<p>There was a single light on in the kitchen, the sound of the television screaming in its absence, but there were soft sounds coming from the gramophone that resided on their bookshelf. Soft strings wafted throughout the apartment, melancholy adding to the dramatics of the blanket burrito on the couch. Lilith wasn't typically one to curl up, opting instead to move about, cleaning the kitchen or making dinner for the two of them to share. So to see her on the couch, Hubert curled up on her lap, his grey fur standing out against the navy blankets, Beatrice realized how much she had taken for granted that day.</p>
<p>Lilith had still messaged her throughout the day, certainly less than usual but Beatrice had assumed it was due to a heavier work load, and Lilith had even sent her pictures of Hubert as he lazed around in the sun. Nothing seemed too out of normal, but now that Beatrice could see it physically in front of her, she had disregarded the signs that her fiancée was struggling. Lilith hadn't looked up from the book she was pretending to read, and Beatrice knew she was going to have to make the first move. It was hard for Lilith to be forthcoming on these days, so Beatrice set her laptop bag down on their tidy bench and wandered over to the couch. Subtly, Lilith shifted to create space for her without disturbing their cat and so Beatrice tucked her feet under her and pulled one of the blankets over her lap.</p>
<p>"Anything interesting happen today?" Beatrice ventured, knowing that asking Lilith directly about her feelings would cause the other woman to shut down faster than the car door of a getaway car.</p>
<p>"Nothing really, Hubert caught a spider on the wall. I think he's part ninja." Beatrice let out a chuckle, knowing that only they would get stuck with an actual ninja cat.</p>
<p>"Well, sounds like we have no need for pest control then." Lilith just hums in response and shifts a little further on the couch, tucking her toes under Beatrice's thigh. Her feet are like ice, but Beatrice doesn't flinch or make a comment, content with the touch Lilith is offering. Beatrice pulls out her phone, scrolling through the news, waiting patiently for Lilith. She knows that if she waits long enough, Lilith will come out of her shell a little bit more, so they sit in silence, broken only by Hubert's purrs. It doesn't take as long as she's expecting, and the minute Lilith starts talking, she clicks off her phone.</p>
<p>"I had a dream last night," Lilith begins and Beatrice nods her head slightly. This was expected, she had felt Lilith tossing and turning. "It wasn't even necessarily a <em>bad dream</em> but something about it made me feel uneasy and then I couldn't get back to sleep."</p>
<p>Beatrice knew that any offer of Lilith coming to her in those moments would be rebuffed, they often dealt with their memories in solitude, choosing only to involve the other if it was truly needed; habits left over from their schoolgirl days no doubt.</p>
<p>"It was almost a 'what if' dream. What if Shannon never died, what if we never met Ava, what if Adriel was actually dead. I saw so many different futures." She pauses, scrunches up her nose in that way that Beatrice thinks is absolutely adorable but signals some disgust. "None of them were desirable in the end, Shannon didn't stay alive for long, Ava always managed to find her way to us, in this case in the hands of Adriel. You know how it goes," and Beatrice does.</p>
<p>She herself has had dreams of different futures. While she may long for a past that is filled with less trauma, she knows that joining the OCS and fighting demons had pulled her out of the running for a normal life. She remains quiet, can tell that there's something Lilith isn't saying and is willing to let Lilith sit with it as long as she likes. Hubert sneezes in his sleep and wakes himself up, acknowledges that Beatrice has come home and gives a swoosh of his tail in her direction. Lilith strokes her fingers through his fur, behind his ears, and he cuddles further into her lap before closing his eyes again.</p>
<p>"I dreamt that we never met." And there it is. Something that Beatrice herself had thought a lot about in several different situations. They had met as children, their parents running in the same circles in the Church, and then again at the OCS. There were so many years between their meetings that they could hardly say they knew one another, but Beatrice had grown up hearing of the de la Cruz family, and undoubtedly, Lilith had grown up hearing of Beatrice's family.</p>
<p>Beatrice moved and placed a hand on Lilith's ankle, gently brushing her thumb over the bone on the inside of her leg, tracing a long healed shrapnel wound. She could see the goosebumps rise on Lilith's skin and continued the motion. Lilith let out a sigh of contentment and pushed her feet further into Beatrice's space.</p>
<p>"I dreamt that when we did meet it was on opposite sides, as challengers for the Halo at the same time." This had never been a fear of Beatrice's but she knew that Lilith had so much of her worth tied to the Halo for so long, she was still sometimes jealous of Ava. "I don't think I would've been able to outshine you for it. And I know it's illogical, but if you had been in contention, then there's a chance I could've lost you before really ever having the chance to get to know you, to love you." Lilith stops there, finally turning her gaze towards Beatrice.</p>
<p>Beatrice just gives her a soft smile, the moment stretching on. They sit there, intertwined so carefully, until the sun begins to disappear behind the horizon. Lilith has migrated closer, her head resting on Beatrice's shoulder, their hands linked as Beatrice runs her free hand over Lilith's shoulder. Hubert has managed to squish himself between the two of them, his head still in Lilith's lap, but demanding of attention from Beatrice at his butt, and she gladly gives it. She never thought she'd have this, a fiancée, a cat, a <em>home.</em> Even though there are bad days, she is grateful that she gets to be here with Lilith, grateful that they can help each other, grateful that she gets to experience what it's like to love somebody so deeply and be loved in return.</p>
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